Losing A HeartBeat

February 4, 2021 is exactly 15 months since my mother departed this earthly realm. It will be 7 months since my first heartbeat passed away. I often wonder if there will come a day when I won’t continue this countdown. I have always been intuitive and able to sense when something is about to happen, but the deaths of both my mother and my daughter came as a surprise. However, I had a couple of weeks to process that I was going to lose my mom.

You can’t put a time limit on grief, but I feel the need to wear a mask of strength for my family, especially for the grandchildren who lost their mother. They need an anchor to hold on to while they attempt to navigate this new normal. I am thankful that the youngest is 19 years old, although no age is a good one to lose your mother—I can attest to this.

In the midst of my grief, my heart goes out to all the families who have lost loved ones due to COVID. My condolences to all who have lost members of their family due to whatever the cause. I won’t say that time heals all or that we will eventually be able to move forward. I will say that death can’t steal the memories of those no longer with us—they will forever live in our hearts. A father who’d lost his wife gave me this suggestion: have friends and family members write letters to the bereaved, sharing special memories and experiences with the deceased. Although they may not read them right away—in time they will garner the strength to do so.

My daughter Bevin is featured on the cover of Defining Moments which will be released this month and it fills me with joy to be able to honor her in this way. She was my first heartbeat, and I will love her forever.